KJRSTEN MADSEN | London Wedding FILM Photographer |

flower girl

2012-02-29T16:23:00.004-08:00

Mamiya RZ & Fuji 3000b

Val Part IV (living with dying)

2012-02-27T05:55:00.001-08:00

Part I (relapse)

Part II (biopsy)

Part III (radiation)

This is part IV.

Terminal.

Living with it, the good, and the bad, and the marvelous life of Valerie.

It's been a long road for her. This cancer of Valerie's has a 100% mortality rate within 8 years. It is coming up on her 8 year mark this May. We are blessed to have drawn the longest stick possible on this one. 8 whole years to love, enjoy, appreciate, learn, and grow.

We are blessed.

We flew back to the states to visit her over the holidays, knowing it could be her last and fearing it would be her last. So home we went.

What is life like for Val at this point, at this stage of the cancer? "How is your mom," everyone asks. "She's good!" I say. Because she really IS good. She is happy, she is sure of her future with Him, she is confident in His plan. She is enjoying her children, and grandchildren eating them all up, every last drop, like her favorite peach slump ala mode. She is amazing in every sense of the word.

But what is life REALLY like for her? I mean she has cancer, so she is in a lot of pain. ALL. THE. TIME. she has pain in several places throughout her body. Lately it hurts to swallow. This is a frightening development. As eating is something that one can never live without. She sleeps a lot. somedays ALL DAY. Somedays, only HALF the day. She manages with a pain patch, worn daily on her shoulder, full of Morphine I do believe. It makes life manageable. And so we wait. We don't know how much time there is left. She has already beat so many odds. And so we are grateful.

Merry (late) Christmas to you

2012-02-10T15:39:00.000-08:00

stone cutters made them

2012-02-07T13:54:00.000-08:00

Sonja & Annabella

2012-02-03T07:12:00.000-08:00

Soni-bears and Annabella-button.

Inseparable since the day they first became aware of each other. Sonja must have been two-ish and Bella was one-ish when they really started hitting it off. It's hard to say when exactly that day of solid, undying, forever-loyal friendship actually happened. Like sisters, they grew up right along side one another, and one day they were just completely intertwined. And now on the cusp of teenager-hood I can hardly believe my eyes, how these two darling (once very chubby baby) girls have grown into beautiful sweet young ladies.

The Pacific North West

2012-02-01T10:04:00.000-08:00

TACOMA

SEATTLE

HOLGA + KODAK TRI-X

ELLIE

2012-01-29T13:11:00.001-08:00

This is Ellie. She is 17 years old. She is the 4th of 5 children. She is a Special Olympian (she won a bronze medal.) Sometimes she is shy. Sometimes she is loud. Sometimes she is silly. She is always brave, except when there are spiders.

Ellie is my cousin.

I remember the day she was born, we were so excited. A few days later I saw her at her house, such a sweet and beautiful baby. But even more vividly I can recall a few days after meeting her, I came home from a night out (I was in high school at the time) and my mom asked me to include baby Ellie in my prayers. She was in the hospital having heart surgery. I wasn't known for my praying back then, but that night I prayed hard and good for my tiny cousin. Ellie has been battling heart and other health issues ever since. (Including 4 open heart surgeries.)

Ellie likes books, jokes, puzzles (holy smokes she is a puzzle whiz!) And she loves her friends: Garfield, Clifford, Piglet, and Dashal Robert Parr. She sleeps with them and drags them around the house. They watch over her as she eats breakfast. She loves the "funnies" and asks her mom to get her glasses so she can read them to her.

Ellie doesn't do all that other stuff that 17 year old girls do. I don't know why some of us have to lead difficult lives, but what I do know is that Ellie teaches me. Every time I see her, I see her light. It radiates from her. She reminds me why I am here. She reminds me what is really important.

"Ellie is the toughest girl I know, every year with us is a gift. It's been a tough, difficult road, but we would do it all again just to know her"~Ellie's mom

winter windows

2012-01-20T08:41:00.000-08:00

the girls put up paper snowflakes on our windows. I stare at them and wonder about things. I wonder if it will snow and hope it will because I love the quiet of the snow. but hope it doesn't because I have so much to do and snow will likely slow me down. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. winter does that to me. It's hibernating time, soul searching time. Staying inside and looking outside all the while I am looking inward. this is the week of getting my stuff done. you know all that stuff that you say to yourself that it can wait until after the holidays and block the fact that you will have more stuff to do then, and that means double the trouble. I am finally checking off that old list and it feels good to come out of the pile-up. we are off to France in a few weeks, so I plan on being completely free and clear before we go.

this guy

2012-01-15T22:03:00.000-08:00

R.M.D. came to see us in London. He was the best little visitor, sightseer, world traveler we've had yet. I was sorry to see him go, and we all missed him like crazy when he left us.

Things I like about this guy: His completely chill mellow attitude. His flirty smile. His stylish wardrobe (baby jeggings?!) He likes to stay up and party instead of go to sleep (me too little dude. me too.) He is a chubby snuggler, I mean being a snuggly baby is one thing, but being a chubby and snuggly baby is the best there is. And last but not least he has a great set of parents...

Simon + Elisa

2012-01-09T14:20:00.000-08:00

a year in review

2012-01-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

2011 will go down in history as our most exciting, risky, adventurous, challenging, and strengthening year to date. We spent the first half of 2011 apart, Peter in London and me and the girls in Portland, preparing for our big move across the pond. Those months were rough and strange, while coming to terms with my mom's terminal cancer I was packing, house and school hunting, selling everything, saying goodbye to friends, family, a city we loved so much, and setting off into the great unknown.

As it turns out we like it here very much. Everything is different now. We walk/bus/tube/train everywhere we go (no car!) we have our groceries delivered, the girls go to school dressed like Hogwarts students, we are learning new words like fringe=bangs and rucksack=backpack, etc... The girls have adjusted better than I could have hoped. Peter and I are stronger and more united than ever.

Sure, living abroad is rife with challenges, but also full of new opportunities and there are advantages we wouldn't have other wise. We like the new-ness of it all.

This blog post will act as sort of as my stream of consciousness, how I remember the year, what stayed with me, it's a bit of everything, thank you for being a reader of this small space of mine in the interwebs.

and here's to a good year! (Ellie)

Rufus & Juliet

2012-01-01T14:21:00.000-08:00

rivers and roads, rivers 'til I reach you.

2011-12-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

We flew back to America to surprise my parents for the holidays.

I've missed all of these people. All 24 of them, each and every last one.

It feels good to be here, surrounded by family again.

Merry Christmas everyone.

(all photos are fuji 400h and canon AE-1,

taken last spring on the way home from my first trip to London)

Halloween night on Abby Road

2011-12-21T00:52:00.001-08:00

I realize this is a very outdated post with all of the visions of sugar plums dancing in your heads right about now. I was once a very dedicated blogger, so trust me when I say it's more painful for me to post such bygone Halloween days, than it is for you to read/see them in the midst of Christmas. I shipped this film off to be developed in the US, which only explains half of the delay. The other reason for my lack of blogging lately comes with excuse upon excuse, you know the usual things: being deathly ill, being out of the country (jamaica!) a husband also out of the country, visitors from the Americas, and then just the regular stuff... Don't even get me started on Christmas shopping, I only just started TODAY! (((hiding my head in utter shame)))

And just like with Christmas shopping, better late than never, here is our Halloween night out.

Films : Portra 800 and Neopan 1600

Spain - Holga

2011-12-07T13:24:00.001-08:00

Holga

Velvia 50 (cross processed)

Tri-X

Ektar

Spain ⎢ small towns

2011-11-30T11:17:00.001-08:00

Towns: Arcos De La Frontera, Ronda, Granada (Alhambra), Grazalema.

Film: Fuji 400h

Camera: Mamiya 645

Andalucia

2011-11-20T09:39:00.001-08:00

TriX and Mamiya 645

Midnight on the beach of the Mediterranean

2011-11-17T08:34:00.001-08:00

Mid-term break falls right in the center of October. At this point in the season, london is pretty cooled off, but many parts of Europe (the southern parts) are still prime for vacationing. Our plan was simple. Go to the sun... (we said) The most southern tip of spain to be exact. All of our research told us that the weather will be in the high 70's, on average. Coming from Portland, that is good enough for beach bathing and poolside laying. And you know what? It rained while we were there. Inches and inches of rain! This gave us a chance to explore the inland cities, that we would have otherwise missed had the sun been shining the whole time. We probably would have never left our little spot on the Mediterranean. In the end we got what we came for and managed to enjoy a few days of R&R at the beach>

Spain⎪big city

2011-11-13T12:22:00.000-08:00

settling in

2011-11-11T09:35:00.000-08:00

We've had some really wonderful weather this fall, and have been able to soak up every last drop of warmth while enjoying the parks- which are still in their preferred dry state. It's already so dark here by 4pm, a sign that winter is upon us. I can hardly believe that we've been here for 4 months (as of today) already. We are starting to feel pretty settled in now. Our trip to Spain was a nice little vacation but by the end of the week I was excited to get home, back into my London life and the swing of things again. Which reminds me Spain photo overload to follow.

For now enjoy some more of Regents Park and Hyde Park:

my heart will wear you out

2011-11-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

Flamenco Dress | Arcos De La Frontera | Spain

2011-11-05T14:24:00.000-07:00

Wow, we've been back from Spain for almost a week now. Time has absolutely flown while getting our heads above water again. Back to school for the girls, and laundry a mile high for me. In other news, there are fireworks going off all around my neighborhood right now in celebration of Guy Fawkes Night, the girls are currently gathered at the window oooohing and awwwwing. We have church at 9am tomorrow (which means we rise at 7am in order to leave the house at 8am) so we are sadly not partaking in the glorious celebration.

I have gotten a few rolls back from our trip to Spain, and this shot stood out as a fave right away. When I went to take this photo I new I had B&W film in my camera and I was slightly bummed about that because the dress was so bright and colorful. But now I quite like it. Better even. There is a timeless graceful way about black and white that just can't be beat.

summer uniforms

2011-11-04T12:04:00.000-07:00

The girls are allowed to wear these darling candy striped dresses to school on the warm days. Those sort of days are long gone for now and sadly missed. Mostly because they love the freedom of these dresses, compared to their usual: little clip-on ties and itchy cardigans.

Camden Town

2011-11-03T03:20:00.000-07:00

A study of Camden Town.

The neighborhood that used to harbor residents such as, Charles Dickens and Amy Winehouse.
Probably best known for it's Stables Market and also the Camden locks.
I cross the threshold of Camden town twice daily. When my kids are dropped off in the morning and again when picking up. Because I take public transport, I end up most days with time to kill while I wait for them to get out of school. 20 minuts here and there has led to a lot of photos of Camden over the past few months. We sometimes like to go back on Saturdays too, just for the market food!

night of Hallows

2011-11-01T06:53:00.000-07:00

It's not like they do it back in the US, but Halloween is indeed celebrated here (in certain neighborhoods.) We met up with a group of friends and hit a neighborhood heavily populated by Americans, who are making the dream of trick-or-treat happen in London. The neighborhood of St. Johns Wood was packed with costumed children, and it's right around the corner from us. We walked on over, met up with our party people, and then trick-or-treated our way home. Finishing off the night enjoying hot chocolate and some of the loot!

We threw together these costumes very last minute, unsure if we would even participate in the holiday this year. Sonja was a Genie, Stella- a witch, and Mimi's costume (flamenco dancer) was a fun find from our trip to Seville Spain last week.

weekend

2011-10-22T02:30:00.000-07:00

A sunny autumn Saturday in the Camden Stalls Market.

home-made photobooth

2011-10-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

BATH II

2011-10-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

Welp.
We went back to Bath, again. This time without Peter (he was Stateside) but with Marion (sister) and Valerie (mother)
We explored less of the city and more of the countryside. It's such an easy trip to make from London, something tells me it won't be the last time we visit.

Brighton Beach Holiday

2011-10-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

Brighton Beach, England. Mixed bag of film and cameras. Some 400h and TriX via Mamiya 645 and E100vs via Holga

I dreamt I was an architect

2011-10-03T09:09:00.000-07:00

When family comes to town, regular life sort of goes out the window, you end up eating a lot of desserts, staying up too late and forgetting about the laundry. Am I right? And when London is involved a massive amount of sight seeing ensues. The past two weeks we have been playing tour guide, and eating far too much for our waistlines. Here you will see some new players on the scene, Marion (sister) and Valerie (mother) came to see what this city was all about, and check out our new life over here among the redcoats.

I can see a lot of bright in you, and I think that dress looks nice on you

2011-09-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

Estelle fell truly-madly-deeply in love with this little dress, so much so, that she spent her entire life savings on it. (about £16) She promptly and proudly wore it to church the following sunday. These are a few shots that she (yes she) requested in the new dress.

Val- in London

2011-09-26T02:23:00.001-07:00

Deck Chairs, Brighton Beach + Holga

2011-09-23T01:57:00.000-07:00

Bath, England

2011-09-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

moving away

2011-09-19T14:36:00.000-07:00

Alexis, Andrew (not pictured) & Rafael (pictured) came to Portland to help pack me up (Pete was in London) It was heaven sent. First of all, to have Andrew's muscles to call upon at any given moment, second of all, to have Alexis' extra pair of hands helping me get stuff done, and finally but most importantly, the little bud Rafael was on hand to keep me sane and happy. He's such a sweet little love. Thank you to this incredible family of 3 for saving the day, and being so wonderful!

(large format instant photo: Speed Graphic Graflex, Fuji 100c 4x5)

London Parks

2011-09-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

The parks here are wonderful, we've had a lovely time exploring them over the summer. We can't decide on a favorite though. As of yet, there is a 3 way tie between Regents Hyde and Holland Park. With an honorable mention to Greenwich Park and the Hampstead Heath.

Keith + Jenny + Josh

2011-09-15T11:14:00.000-07:00

Lee family

2011-09-15T02:50:00.000-07:00

Still catching up on some Portland clients, although Will is originally from England! :)

and just like that

2011-09-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

Everything changed.

Our lives are drastically different now.

I haven't driven a car in months, other than a few taxi rides, I am on buses and trains several times daily. I walk so many miles that I hardly ever have trouble falling asleep at night, my body is so tired I just melt right into my mattress. Not only do I buy groceries on a daily basis, I carry every single item .7 miles home, and rarely remember to bring my shopping caddy. My girls and I board the (city) bus at 8am, walk .5 miles to Sonja's school, and another .5 miles to Stella and Mimi's school. By 9am, they are all sitting in class in their proper uniforms, in which I board another bus back home, if I am lucky I make it back there at 9:30. That is 1.5 hours people! This is VERY new to us coming from a suburban part of Portland Oregon, wherein we drove (in our very own vehicle!) .5 miles to school, and the whole ordeal took me 10 minutes flat. It's not just the public transport, the catholic schools, or extensive walking that is different, it's the language too. Of course it is English so I understand it just fine, but it is the way it is delivered that I find so fascinating. There is so much tonal fluctuation in each sentence. And also the choice of words are so fun hearing in new contexts, you know the ones: brilliant-where I would say awesome. Rubbish instead of garbage and horrid for terrible. But my favorite is when people (usually older men) call me 'love' or 'darling'! Apparently the girls have been quite a hit at school with their American accents. The children gather around asking them to say something IN 'American.'

People often ask me if I am homesick. So far everything is still too new to miss home. I don't miss America much, I just miss the people IN America. And finally after all of my begging and pleading, my mom and sister are coming out for a visit in just a few days! Can't wait to show them this new and different but equally exciting life we are living now.

LEWIS Family

2011-09-02T06:16:00.001-07:00

HOLGA + SUMMER + POOL + B&W FILM

2011-09-01T13:25:00.000-07:00

Oh goodness, summer... how I miss you already.

the last of the last - of the very last -

from my visit to Washington State right before the move across the Pond.

AND, speaking of Washington State...

GOOD NEWS for people who like good news: my mom is coming to see me here in London in no less than 9 days. I am so excited- I think I will make a proper Christmas-style countdown chain!

places I wont soon forget

2011-08-31T01:31:00.000-07:00

Since arriving in London this summer Pete has been busy slaving away long hours at work and the girls and I have taken to the streets as professional 'live-in' tourists. We've been going down a list of historical places for the last (almost) 2 months, and we have hardly skimmed the surface of this massive city. Oh, and please note.... we might be residents of London but we aren't above the open top bus tours, in fact they are our favorite way to see the city!

rooftops

2011-08-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

the london EYE

2011-08-25T06:49:00.000-07:00

The very first thing our girls wanted to do when they got to London was ride the london eye! The idea of a 400ft ferris wheel was going to be the ride of a lifetime. And so on our very first day in London, we hit the pavement and made our way down to the Thames waterfront at 8:30 am sharp. (The girls had woken up at 4:30am that morning due to jet lag) Bright eyed and bushy tailed, we were the first in line before the doors even opened.

Turns out the Eye moves so slowly, it was less of a 'ride' and more of a sight seeing experience for the girls, with the best views of the entire city.

OUR HOUSE {in the middle of our street}

2011-08-22T12:54:00.000-07:00

This is the place. The place we call home. Our new {very old} home. We love it here. We loved it here from the minute we saw it, and then when we moved in and our stuff arrived, we loved it even more. And once we unpacked and moved the furniture into place, it all really came together and made everything complete, and it feels so much like our home I sometimes forget I am in England. (and then I step right outside my door or look out my window at views like this below, and then I remember YES, I am indeed in England!) But really, what makes a home a home? After 6 months of living apart, me and Pete are back together again under the same roof. And that is what makes a home A home.

and now enjoy, some scenes from around our 'hood...

welcome to London

2011-08-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

These were all taken during our first week here in London. (Hard to believe a whole month has already flown by) Starting off with our touchdown on the tarmac, you can see Sonja looking out the window taking in her first sights of the city on the left and Meredith on the right about to explode with excitement!

Then on to riding the tube, the double-decker bus, Hyde Park, rainy summer days, etc... etc...

London is pretty much everything I thought it would be, and more-so.

These shots are just the tip of the iceberg, I've got a whole lot more to show from past month waiting in the blogger pipeline!

the BIG BANKS-Y

2011-08-15T14:01:00.000-07:00

This is what we call a thorough send off... A week on the lake with all of my favorite people in the whole wide world. The last thing we did before we left for London.

God bless America, land that I love--->

Banks Lake [via Holga]

2011-08-11T11:22:00.000-07:00

Holga + Kodak Ektar

the 4th

2011-08-08T01:24:00.000-07:00

Nothing more american than a tour of the Grand Coulee Dam on the 4th of July, I always say!

(Canon A-1/400h & Holga/Ektar)

Mimi B-day

2011-08-07T01:27:00.000-07:00

The bad news about summer birthdays: how are you supposed to have a party when everyone is on summer break?

The good news about summer birthdays: celebrating on vacation, on the beach of Banks Lake, that's what!

Lucky little Meredith!

saying hello

2011-08-05T01:55:00.000-07:00

in between - and in Tacoma

2011-08-04T05:54:00.000-07:00

we had a few weeks in between leaving Portland and moving to London, so we crashed with the parents in Tacoma, Washington. It's a great place to be, lots of fun people around, like cousins and babies, also a funny dog, and swimming pool. Never a dull moment, and heaven forbid if there is, it's not long before the face paint comes out.

We like being there.

Clara + Sam + Gus [Tacoma, Washington]

2011-08-03T02:45:00.000-07:00

Andrew + Alexis + Rafael

2011-08-02T00:02:00.000-07:00

The Parkers

2011-08-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

Carnival on the River | Portland Oregon

2011-08-01T01:05:00.000-07:00

The carnival comes to the Portland river front several times throughout the summer, we have always enjoyed ourselves a few rides and a few sugary treats there over the years. I sit in my new house in the middle of London and I am just now realizing that right here in this post is the last of our Portland lives. I have no more Portland to post. :(

It has only been 45 days since we left but it feels like a world away. . .

the previous shots were Canon A-1 + 400H

these last four shots are Holga + Tmax

Spencer Family

2011-07-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

Oh my garsh!!!! the Spencer family! How I adore this family and these blondie babies! Maisie was one of my first (and best) friends when I moved to Oregon 6 years ago. When I first met her she had 2 small children tugging at her ankles in the hallway at church, and I remember thinking, "that blond girl is gorgeous!" Anyway, 2 small children turned into 5. I know right? 5 kids! She's about the best little mama I know, it has been a JOY (forever) photographing these sweet faces over the years... and here they are in all their horse-property-country-homesteading glory>>>>>

(PS... LOVE YOU MAIS!!!!)

Kyla + Chad + Cru + Emry [Vashon Island]

2011-07-30T01:02:00.000-07:00

The Grotto ⎪ Portland Oregon

2011-07-19T07:37:00.000-07:00

Hi long lost friends! I am coming at you Live from the UK. I've been here for 1 week +2 days, as I type that it sounds like such a short time, but it has already felt like a lifetime has been lived. So far London has been great, and hard, and crazy-awesome too! On the whole we are loving it. We are just not loving waiting for our stuff to arrive from across the deep blue sea- which means we have to live in a tiny serviced apartment in the mean time. 35 days and counting of living out of our suitcases! It's not so bad for me and Peter, it's the girls suitcases that are hard to maintain! (;

So in this here post you will find a very nature/religious group of photos I took with my fellow film friend Deann on a visit to the Grotto (the National Sanctuary of Our Sorrowful Mother) in Portland. The grounds are expansive, peaceful and beautiful and well worth a visit. It was one of the last things I did before I left town, what a way to remember the remarkable city of Portlandia!

Home Life

2011-07-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

Dyer Luau

2011-07-14T09:18:00.000-07:00

This family really knows how to Party :)

Stay-Cation

2011-07-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

We spent the memorial day weekend holed up together with all of the family at my parents house in Tacoma. BBQ's, pool parties, s'mores, and a trip to Great Wolf lodge kept us busy. And also a Luau happened... that post comes tomorrow :)

BBQ

2011-07-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

In London now, it's glorious. Just missing my Oregon friends a bit today... especially when they have cute faces like these:

Goodbye (America) (et. al.)

2011-07-09T06:13:00.000-07:00

Flying out of Seattle Washington today.

To London, England.

date of return is unknown.

So excited!!! So crazy and surreal.

I miss my family already just thinking about it, and I haven't even left yet...

last days in Oregon

2011-07-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

American Lake

2011-07-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

have mercy!

2011-07-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

independance

2011-07-04T09:43:00.000-07:00

celebrating what could be my last 4th in the USA for a long time... ... beach-camping/waterskiing/family... It's going to be the best 4th of July ever.

Photo by Peter Madsen & his canonet QL17

nephew babies (josh + raff)

2011-07-03T02:04:00.000-07:00

PARIS + HOLGA + EKTAR II

2011-07-01T07:17:00.000-07:00